Last week I went on
vacation for the first time in a couple years. It was great. Here are some
things I accomplished:
- Touched the
ocean.
- Ate at least one
type of seafood every day.
- Started reading
both Moby Dick and A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do
Again.
- Learned how to
play a poker game called Night Baseball.
- Drank a milkshake
at a pharmacy soda fountain.
- Bought a pair of
sparkly fish skeleton earrings.
- Watched the
entirely of the Miss America Competition. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid and
let me tell you, watching a beauty pageant as an adult is a weird experience. I
kept getting outraged by things like the fact that the swimsuit competition is
supposed to be about judging the contestants' "commitment to health." I'm
pretty sure every feminist in the world stopped paying attention to swimsuit
competitions about 20 years ago. That fruit is so low hanging it's underground. The concept of Mario Cantone and Carla from Top Chef judging which 22 year old has the best bikini body and is therefore most deserving of a scholarship is kind of insane though.
- Saw a pig named
Mr. Wrinkles crowned the winner of a livestock competition. (He beat
two ponies!)
